Thank goodness for 2nd chances…
After 16 years, I am now pregnant with my second child, a baby girl due in December 2016. To say I’m excited is an understatement. I mean, hell, I’ve waited SIXTEEN years to do it again…and not only to just do it again, but to do it differently than the first time.
As high school ended and my first year at Dillard began, so did another chapter of my life when in walked, actually ran, a beautiful, shirtless chocolate “man” (we’ll call him Richard :) of my dreams…a lil’ hood in that New Orleans way, a couple of golds (it was the 90s), plenty of charm and charisma, and also a good six years my senior. Although my family wanted to have no part of him, I knew he only had eyes for me, or so I thought, and I was “in love.” Who cared if he had no job, was living with his mother, or sometimes went out all night? All that mattered was that we were together…
Less than a year into our relationship, I was pregnant. Completely unplanned and utterly unprepared. Richard already had a daughter from a previous relationship and here I was pregnant with his son. What did those nine months looks like? The pregnancy itself was beautiful and joyous, but the partner was negligent and uncaring. While life was magical with this growing baby in my belly, love was anything but.
Around month three, Richard moved us into his father’s home where we spent the first few months sleeping on a pool table turned bed. I continued my focus on my studies, tried to make the house a home, and wanted to believe that we could be a good family. But it wasn’t to be that way.
I spent a lot of time home alone, wondering when
When our son was three months old, Richard had stayed out all night and didn’t come home until morning. I had waited up all night for him and at this point, I was done. After a pretty substantial fight, I packed my bags and left that day. Jobless, single, and on welfare, I had officially become a sad statistic.
But that wasn’t the end. The relationship with Richard was obviously not a part of my five-year plan and I knew I had to get back on track and I had to do it fast as I had no intentions of being a single mom on welfare. Talented with hair, I took a job as the shampoo girl and braid and natural stylist at my aunt’s salon. Soon after, I got my cosmetology license, moved to Miami where I worked part time for an educational specialist, evenings and weekends at a salon and spa, and eventually re-enrolled myself into college to finish my studies. I was determined to make something of my life after taking a short detour.
And sixteen years later, my life couldn’t more different. An undergraduate and graduate degree under my belt, travel to 20 countries and countless cities worldwide, entrepreneur, Zumba instructor, fitness consultant, and health coach, this time around, I’m ready. I have planned and I am prepared for this new life.
This time, I have TWO loving partners constantly showering me with love, a 16-year-old son who is a sophomore at Benjamin Franklin High School, and a soon-to-be 3-year old son from my partners. I have no worries about where my partners are or if they are coming home. We spend all of our evenings together, whether in or out of the house. Our house is a loving home and all of our meals are home cooked and eaten together as a family. I’ve never been to a prenatal appointment alone and my belly is rubbed, kissed, and loved every day. This is my wildest dream come true.
I couldn’t be better prepared to take the journey of motherhood again. I am truly thankful for this second chance to do it all over again!